This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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