i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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