Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
