That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
