Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
