Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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