1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize