ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
