So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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