I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
