before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
