i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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