as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize