I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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