She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
