I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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