he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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