I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
