turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
