no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
