I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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