If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You pole danced in your parka.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
