cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize