it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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