Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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