just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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