it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
