If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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