Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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