last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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