Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
