Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize