I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
