The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
