You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
