I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
