we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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