I need help removing her.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
