So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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