i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
