I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
