Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
