There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
