I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
