ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
