OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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