Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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