When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize