no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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