After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
home. puking in laundry basket.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
