yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
