I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
