I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize