if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
