this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
