y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
