i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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