so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize